Alice in Wonderland.....

New Tim Burton movie coming out. Yay! But, somehow this still from the movie looks really familiar to me and i'm not at all sure why. Weird. It's reminding me of someone and i can't for the life of me remember who. Well, anyway, it certainly doesn't matter.

i know i've been MIA for quite sometime. Things have been rough for me, this whole imbalanced thyroid thing is a pain in the butt. Dr. W adjusted my synthroid and now i have some pills in the most lovely shade of Robin's egg blue. And, let me tell you, "peri-monopause" is really for the birds. But other than minor physical complaints, i can't whine too much. i enjoy the month of June, since i get to spend time with my Family, from NYC, To Asbury, Atlanta and beyond. :-)

Pick of the Day

Taybor is the pet Pick of the Day at the 1010wins.com website!

Lilu is also featured, but she's not the cover-girl! :-)
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It's all covered with spots!

my tonsils, i mean. Oy! i feel like crap. However, not quite so crappy that i can take the day off from work. i just saw my regular doctor... for the first time since the year we competed at South Plains. Heh, so i guess i've been doing really well. i mean, i've had the sniffles and other assorted miseries but no tonsillitis or sinus infections or other grue and slime inducing illnesses.

S, here i am, back at work, eating home made sourdough bread (if anyone local wants some of the culture, just let me know), listening to Peter Murphy and believe it or not, pondering a quote from Mother Teresa. Does this apply to M/s and/or the way slaves worry too much about stuff they have little or no business worrying about?

Don't give in to discouragement. If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be obedient to truth. For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed.
--- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

The word for today is.....

Fealty.

Or maybe this one: Fidelity.

You can take Your pick. i'm not judging. i am merely presenting definitions for words or concepts that are probably as archaic to some people as the concept of self-control. They are certainly words that i will personally be meditating on in the next few days.

i bid you peace.

******************************************
On an entirely separate note regarding my post from yesterday: i did make it to the gym, i did work out and i totally kicked ass! And, when i went home, i discovered that my Master had made me a splendid chicken dinner. i remain the luckiest and most grateful girl in the world.

23.56!!!

i've been struggling lately and i wasn't sure why. Depression? Am i ill? Crazy? Well, no. i just got back the results from my latest thyroid check. My Dr and the nurse both looked at me in surprise "do you feel ok?" no. "oh, ok, because your numbers are terrible!"

     Does anyone else think that i'm nuts for being happy to get crappy test results? Now i feel like there's a reason for how i've been feeling so i'm relieved! Maybe the medicine adjustment will kick in and i'll be feelin' groovy soon. (if anyone's interested in the numbers: they "should" be between 0.4 and 4.5, my last check up showed 3.98, yesterday's test was 23.56!!! so, yeah, my 'roid is outta wack, to say the least!)

So, since i've been having so much trouble keeping my brain fog-free enough to blog, i thought i'd just fill out a little journal prompt to get me going....

FOR TODAY 1/27/09...
Outside My Window...it’s cloudy and COLD! It really feels like it’s going to snow any minute. However, I can also hear squirrels doing that weird chittering noise they make when it’s mating season. So, yes – Spring is coming!
I am thinking...i really don’t want to go to the gym. Yup, I’m whining! I’m tired and I’m cold, I just can’t warm up. The last ting I want to do today is strip off in the cold locker room and change in to my frozen sneakers and gym clothes. Yuck. But I’m going to do it anyway!
I am thankful for...a Master who’s been taking super good care of me while I’ve been feeling like crap.
From the slave quarters…I am struggling. Not with submission but rather with having absolutely zero energy lately. That makes me feel like I’m either lazy or perhaps just crazy.
From the kitchen... I’m trying to plan the menu for the upcoming Superbowl feast. After all, it is a religious holiday in Master’s Household! :-)
I am wearing...my ridiculous purple boots that are lined with polar fleece. Hey! I said I was cold! Fashion be damned, I can’t stand cold piggies.
I am creating...i’ve been doing a lot of sewing lately. I’ve finished 3 old, half-done projects. A vest with a funky lining, a goofy dress with pink rick-rack trim and a skirt.
I am going...to collapse on the couch with a cup of tea as soon as I get home.
I am reading...Horses at the Gate by Mary Mackey.
I am hoping...that my new Thyroid medication makes me feel better.
I am hearing...Gary Numan, from the Replicas album and also the Pick-Ticket Printer at work is clacking away in the background.
Around the house...i took yesterday off and cleaned the kitchen. Long over due! Next up, my bathroom.
One of my favorite things... Here’s my new favorite thing: Master has learned how to duplicate the cool finger tip snapping thing that my Chinese massage therapist does. Yummy!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: trying to get to the gym, hopefully a big snow storm tonight and tomorrow (snow day!) and then, we’re going to see Metallica on Saturday evening. So, I’ll be deaf on Sunday. *grin*

water!

The water saga might be over.... many thousand of dollars later, we have a new copper water pipe and a couple of tons of new top soil.
Here's a picture of the work in progress.

i'm just glad i wasn't home while they were using a jackhammer in the kitchen!

The infertile cresent.

Yeah, ok so i disappeared again. i really don't feel like talking about
this at all, but for some reason i feel like i have to explain myself.
A couple of months back, i thought i was pregnant. Well, i either just
missed a period because i am now fabulously peri-menopausal or i really
was pregnant. So, when i finally got my period....it was devastating.
Because it means: Either i miscarried or i am becoming no longer able
to sustain/create/carry a new life.

So, i've been a big black hole of despair for a while now. i am working
though this in my own way. There's really not a lot of guidance that
anyone can give me on how i should handle my feelings because no one
can tell me how to feel! i just need to grieve in my own way, for my
own reasons, until i am done grieving.



So, my intrepid readers: No, i do not want to talk about this. No pats
on the back, no knowing looks, and for Goddess' sake, please don't tell
me that i'll get over it. Or i'll scream.